[Happiness] feels like floating on a cloud, where nothing and no-one can get to me. It’s a place of peace, where for a change, I feel a sense of camaraderie with those around me.

It’s a heady experience, physiologically and emotionally… My body vibrates, my soul pulsates and my mind loops and winds around in whimsical patterns of sheer bliss.
I want to run. To jump. To spin on the spot and squeal with delight. But I’m not a piglet. So most times I resist, but oh how my heart yearns to squeal! Most times I express happiness loudly… Every so often I give in to those Ms. Piggy squeals! Bubbly laughter rises up from my stomach and I clap like a seal… And sometimes, more often than not these days, I mess around and do some kind of happy dance… Because you know what, life is short and I am happy!

In spite of how I might express happiness, for me the source of my happiness is almost invariably quiet moments and places. I get it from unspoken words of affirmation and love, communicated through the gentle gaze of a companion. From pensive strolls on quiet paths, with or without an accomplice. From those impromptu and oh so pure hugs from children, that say “I like you big person, you’re okay with me”. I’m happy when I smell rain. Or feel a fresh breeze on my skin.

Thinking on all these things, I am thankful for each experience. And while being thankful, I am also happy. 

Fafa, Botswana

Hello, fellow human. As a fellow human, I’m sure you’re familiar with the sensations and feels mentioned in Fafa’s description of what happiness means to them. What does it mean to be happy, and how can we seek to engage with it, even when brooding skies begin to form in our heads? Let’s talk a little about it.

Have you ever witnessed a child strapped in a harness, and restricted to a radius by a pole they’re tethered to, that’s anchored to the ground? No? As an aside, it’s part amusing and part concerning (thank you, West Virginia). However, getting back on track, I watched the child dart from the centre in any direction, and brought back to centre. I use that example to illustrate that that is what we experience with our levels of happiness, it’s called the ‘happiness set point’ or ‘happiness set range’.

In the film Happy by Roko Belic, they look into the various factors that engage people’s happiness and one of those is our happiness set point. Our happiness set point is the point in our happiness that we always return to following events in our lives – tragic or joyous. Some have a high set point where they’re happy more often than not; see ‘Morning People’. A low set point means people generally feeling morose, and may or may not have inspired the birth of the song ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ by Limp Bizkit. Finally, there are those that settle somewhere in the middle. I have nothing to say about them.

Studies find that 50% of what determines your set point is genetic; 10% are your circumstances i.e. the spaces you find yourself in, and their consequences; and 40% are your intentional activities i.e. the things you do deliberately that excite you, and/or drive you toward your purpose. That’s incredible, isn’t it? That ‘power’ and ‘control’ of your life that motivational speakers, and motivational books alike describe is 50% of the happiness you experience, and you’re doing a kick-ass job at doing the best that you can!

 My happiness was always elusive, and I sought things that I felt may have brought me happiness. I was in a depressive state all through boarding school; I love the fact that I had made connections with people from all over the world that I continue to hold close (UWC connections never die), however I wasn’t ready to have been shipped out there when I had. There was a realisation that I enjoyed being sad in a way that it had settled within my bones, and every experience I had was from a perspective that ‘nothing good could come of this’. In my post about dealing with loss, I mention how I used substance abuse in an effort to numb what was going on, oblivious to the fact that I was aggravating my condition. My perspective and attitude needed to shift, and thankfully through the years it has. I had to want it to; and it was, and continues to be a challenging journey.

Happiness is a light-headed feeling, represented visually by altocumulus clouds:multiple high white puffs against a vivid blue sky.

Happiness is closing your eyes, feeling the wind on your face and your cheeks lifting gently into  smile and a crinkle around your eyes. Happiness causes repetition of the word ‘Yes’.

It is light or pastel in colour and creates a relaxation of your shoulders and an uplifting sensation in you chest.

Gregory, Australia

It feels one has to actively seek their happiness. I know, I know – it’s easier said than done. What I’ve found helps ground me is finding my ‘tribe’. These are the people that see your madness as a gift, and your relationship is a give-and-take that resembles a chaotically beautiful choreographed contemporary dance routine. Humans are inherently selfish, is something my reverend said to me one day, and she’s not wrong, but at the same time we are inherently social creatures. This duality is why it’s important that we have relationships: to help us see beyond our own noses, and understand ourselves and our world better, contributing as positively as we can to it. Be open to experiencing people’s connections. Sometimes it can come as a spark that finds us spontaneously, like the photographer I met on a safari boat in Kasane, an experience I share in an Instagram post.

What is happiness to me? ‘Happiness smells like the first rain after a heat wave. That feeling of the ground being rejuvenated post prolonged periods of dryness Happiness smells like a morning brew of filtered coffee. The aroma of the strongest beans permeating ones nasal cavity letting you know what joys await you when you take your first sip.

Happiness is waking up in the middle of the night and realising you still have 6 hours before dawn and not the usual 30 minutes you expected. See when you are REALLY tired any extra rest is appreciated, well at least it is to me! Happiness is a familiar song playing on the radio taking you back to awesome memories of a time just passed. The familiar tune and lyrics letting you know that you’ve lived and continue to do so.

But true happiness, the type that really sticks is knowing you have a chance at correcting a mistake that you may have made. Knowing that you know that despite a fault on your part, there is a chance at redemption.

Phodiso, Botswana

As I close this post, I want to stress that you are important. Take care of yourself first and ensure you are well enough to help others. You cannot pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes, and to borrow from my passion, aviation, put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Your mental health is the bedrock of how you interact with the world.

House full of laughter and smells of good food.

Laugh of a child.

Smile and a look from your lover.

Gentle touch from your lover.

Smells of spring.

Dancing in the rain.

Gosh. I could go on and on.

Tidimalo, Botswana

Take care of yourself, engage with the world, and seek your purpose. 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Dr. Seuss

A huge thank you to those who submitted their perspectives toward this post, y’all give me the warm fuzzies, and I appreciate you.