Fellow human! How wonderful you’ve chosen to be here for this Friday Feels session. I hope your week has been fruitful. This week we are looking at ‘Acceptance’ and the different ways it takes shape.

I’m typing this in my cousin’s kitchen in Parkwood, Johannesburg. Everyone else in the home is fast asleep. Sometimes the repetitive ticking-tacking of keyboard keys isn’t the way one wants to wake up. As a result, I’ve been displaced from my self-designated workstation, but you got to accept that it is what it is.

It is what it is.  The first time I heard that phrase was in a song by Lifehouse titled…’It is What It Is’. I understood the context being a relationship that really had run it’s course, and accepting that was just a way to stop hurting one another.

The second time, was an ex who used it so much I wondered if it was taught at the law school they we enrolled in, during one workshop on retreating from conversations you’re not up to have. Being someone that often had engaged with issues from an emotional perspective, I grew exponentially frustrated.

You may not understand [a situation], however you will decide on accepting that situation. You really don’t understand it, but challenging as it is, you accept the situation and move on. For me “Acceptance” is being real, allowing your logic to relate to the then or the now, and that’s acceptance.

Alice, Botswana

‘“It is what it is” is helpful in two cases: when it’s not an emotional issue for the person, or when she has had sufficient time to process her emotions and is ready to move on.’ Lina Sapadin, Ph.D.

Acceptance = Peace

Lerato, South Africa

This comes as a double padded circumstance: the individual needs to accept the state of their affairs before they can be open to using the phrase. If you’re interested in learning more about “It is wat it is”, you can read Dr. Sapadin’s research on the word here.

Hold your own

Know your name

And go your own way

And everything will be fine

‘Details In The Fabric” by Jason Mraz and James Morrison

One of my favourite songs. In Details In The Fabric the duo describe the mental state people can often find themselves in. The ‘fabric’ alluded to in the song is a metaphor for who we are individually. Those details in the fabric are what we should focus on in order to live a fulfilled life, even if there may be a ‘fault in manufacturing’, it’s unique to who we are. Acceptance of Self.

Acceptance is knowing someone, or knowing a phenomena. Understanding that feeling comfortable either with the phenomena or the person to the point where because you have an understanding of this particular individual, you accept them. You choose to accept them.

Lerato, Botswana

Acceptance is a culmination of mindful practices. One of such practices are gratitude, and it has been found that a consistent and deliberate practice of it changes the neuro pathways of your brain after a month. Another is meditation where you’re encouraged to check in with yourself, and understand yourself better. Careful with meditation though – I can’t tell you how many accidental naps I’ve taken.

Acceptance. Man. It used to mean being approved by other people, for me. However, when I think about acceptance now, it means being comfortable with myself and the choices I’m making on my own terms.

Ibrahim, Canada

Whenever matters of individuality are discussed, I recall one of Lewis Black’s stand-up comedy sets where, after telling us how we should appreciate our differences, calls everyone ‘snowflakes’. We must always keep that fact of differences close – what you may accept, the next person may not; and may not come to terms with a situation as fast as you might expect. From a personal point of view, work that mind of yours to learn what your journey to acceptance looks like; acceptance is a choice.

Accept – then act. What ever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform you whole life.

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Pg 35)

A huge thank you to those who submitted their perspectives toward this post, y’all give me the warm fuzzies, and I appreciate you.