Gratitude is thankfulness without vanity. We make it so easy to express meaningless thanks (#blessed). Gratitude comes for the harder things, the messy things, the things that might feel like a trial or a failure, but are in fact the thing that inspire growth and change. Gratitude is the reflection moment after perseverance. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt gratitude in a loud, joyful way. There’s no shortening it, or over use like “thanks!” As it’s shouted across the bar. Rather, gratitude has always been a calming expression to me. One that grounds me and centres me in my values.

Catherine, United States of America

Hello, fellow human. I hope you’ve had a great week.

At some point during the formation of this post, I asked my friend Tony what he thought of ‘gratitude’, and if he would have anything to contribute toward this blog post. After a pause, he told me it was one of those words that didn’t really stir anything in him. He repeated again, more confidently than the first time.

It was an interesting moment because it got me thinking about the weight that words have, and to what degree they move us, or at least should. Tony has experienced unimaginable valley-mountain top moments in the time I’ve known him, that I assumed he would detail the sense of gratitude those experiences have given him. But we are not the same: we are at different stages of our lives, on opposite ends of the earth, and as a result view things like the comprehension of words differently…and for that I am grateful.

Gratitude to me is usually a mixture of joy and appreciation. I usually express it by attempting to make another person feel joy and warmth in the same way that they did for me. Not in mirroring their actions but by recreating the essence. On some occasions I will write thank you notes – for people who live far away or for those who I will appreciate the gesture.’

Natalie, United States of America

Gratitude, by its very nature is transactional – we express it following the stirring of our own emotions, It comes after the warm sunshine, or after the dust has settled after serious tension.

‘[Gratitude is the] expression of appreciation for an act or object. Sometimes, it’s a reciprocated feeling showing another you care.’

Jackson, United States of America

People are usually the source of our gratitude, where they fulfil something we lack, which propels our growth; hindsight is 20/20 in some cases. When gratitude for our environments and circumstances is concerned, it usually it doesn’t come about until we have reached different levels of self-awareness, like the levels in Super Mario Bros. Where the levels have sub-levels, looking like 3-1,3-2, and so on. “Gotta put in that work, hunnay!” says Oprah Winfrey in the footnote of all her Master Class Youtube videos, and in her podcast’s show notes.

No she doesn’t.

Please don’t sue me.

‘Gratitude is a tricky thing. Show too much gratitude and it seems insincere, show too little, and you seem, well, ungrateful. With seemingly all things, gratitude must be expressed in the perfect balance of itself. I often find myself laying it on thick, the same way I use this fantastic Belgian butter. But I am so sincerely thankful, for friends especially.
 
After spending so much time alone, increasingly with age, the interactions I have are immensely potent and I some times feel full to burst and it comes out as thank you so so much,
 
I recently was so incredibly lucky to have friends that bought me a ticket to visit them in Hong Kong, on the other side of the earth. That was in August, I still haven’t finished thanking them. I thank my mother everyday, for the love and food and shelter she provides for me as I build myself back up, like a sandcastle fabricating itself, it’s embarrassing and just barely missing ‘futile’.
But she gives me something solid to stand on, so I make sure she knows everyday what that means. So I suppose that’s what gratitude means to me. Maybe it’s a simplification, but to me, gratitude is making sure the people who hold you up know they’re not just stilts in the bog, and what they do for you can’t be replaced.’

Jason, United States of America

My gratitude is obnoxious. It’s loud, reserved, and has a silver lining backbone that makes me sick sometimes. I’ve found I say “Well, at least [something-something positive]…” a lot! I just don’t like to hear about people going through hardships. Of course, it’s conditional, and conversation appropriate.

This week, my family went out to dinner, and I ran into a roommate I had in boarding school thirteen years ago. I didn’t recollect how long it had been since we spent time together, but I realised he was different. An aside, if I may: My feelings toward social media has made it so I don’t experience expanse of time between meetings because I’m able to ‘meet’ my friends online and catch up with what they’ve been up to. As we began to catch up, I couldn’t stop ruminating on how proud I was of the bloke he has turned out to be. Not to say he was a hazard or anything, but he appears to have a clarity about his life. He’s invited me to join him for Tai Chi lessons next year, and despite the length of time we hadn’t communicated, he felt like a brother, still. A small plug, if I may: #UnitedWorldCollege.

Appreciation of life. Respecting my family. Most important aspect of living a happy, fulfilled life.’

Alicia, Switzerland

‘The Rumi line always captures it best for me having been so blessed in many aspects of my life I just mainly try to show gratitude by treating as many people with as much respect as I possibly can regardless of if I know them or not.’

Nathi, Canada

Gratitude, in my opinion, is a practice, and an attitude. Forming your understanding of Gratitude, will allow your attitude toward Thankfulness to take its form to you. This is my understanding of the process, and by no means put this out to parade as some sort of cognitive neurological scientist, but simply to share, and hopefully engage positive interactions.

‘I get to spend the holidays with my brother.
Another unpromised day.
The continued health of my family and I  
The confidence and peace to know that everything will work out. Maybe not exactly as I planned, but it’ll be better, because it’s God’s plan.’

Ayanda, England

Gratitude to me is different from being thankful in that it is not about things. Gratitutde to me is a sense of security that somehow, regardless of how things seem, you will be supported and have what you need. This feeling often comes to me in the form of a deep exhale when I get a wave of feeling of our interconnectedness. I can feel thankful for my house or the receiving a gift from someone, but gratitude was most evident when my mom and I were able to discover the remains of my great grandfather’s home in the mountains of Lebanon and I could viscerally feel my grandparents with us. Those moments are not usually about thoughts, but somehow a deeper knowing that bypasses your brain.’ –

Michael, United States of America

There are countless intrinsic activities one can engage with to see what they can be grateful for. I don’t have a favourite, however, one that comes to mind is a gratitude list. That is where you jot down 5 things – nothing is too small or too big – that you feel grateful for. It’s been said that practising this daily offers you a shift in your mindset. You’re free to google for additional practices – there are oodles of them!

Intrinsic, in this instance refers to doing things that feel good to you and bring you value, searching for things within you. The opposite would be extrinsic, where external factors motivate you.

‘Being humble and thankful reminds us that we did not get to the place that we are in without the help of others. Gratitude can be a double-edged sword; I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. The normal gratuity is your everyday, someone helped me with a certain goal, more or less I must be thankful for their assistance. I’ve also seen people not be grateful enough, and I’ve seen people become too grateful. This is dangerous; I’ve seen people pour their wealth into others to repay or to show their amount of gratitude. Gratitude can create false shepherds, men are inherently greedy for power, wealth, life, and neediness. Showing gratitude is a gateway for the needy or needed.
But there’s the opposite end of that spectrum. Gratitude through negativity; I’ve experienced situations to which I must be grateful for, and to this person, because they have taken me through a negative situation that has not only taught me ‘the common sense’ approach, but made my skin tougher. The negative of this form of gratitude is not healthy; at the end of the day, stress can kill you. Never show gratitude to someone that is/was negative or is showing negative actions toward you because this will reinforce that this type of negativity has positive results.’

Jessie, United States of America

There’s song by Jarabe De Palo called ‘Bonito’ my friend Angelo and I would sing in our room. He was teaching me Spanish, piece by piece, and introduced me to this song that, albeit sounded really optimistic, painted a picture of all the things that are bonito (pretty or lovely).

Perhaps Gratitude isn’t a word that stirs your heart. Perhaps it does to the point where the cup is overflowing. It’s my wish you learn from your journey and grow, however it may look.

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
Bonita mañana
Bonito lugar
Bonita la cama
Qué bien se ve el mar
Bonito es el día
Y acaba de empezar bonita la vida
Respira, respira, respira

Jarabe De Palo

A huge thank you to those who submitted their perspectives toward this post, y’all give me the warm fuzzies, and I appreciate you.